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Having a Spiritual Leader Doesn’t Mean…

husband and wife studying Bible

Today I’m over at TrueWoman.com exploring what it looks like that your husband is your spiritual leader–or rather, what it doesn’t look like. Below is a short sample of the post; catch the entire version of “Your Husband Isn’t Your Connection to God” here. Mostly, though, I’d love to hear from you:

  • Have you taken a more passive role in your relationship with God since marrying? How so?
  • If you’re still single, what are your expectations for what it will mean for your husband to be your spiritual leader?

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Taking a Back Seat in My Relationship with God

You may have heard—or believe—that your husband is your spiritual leader. But I wonder what that means to you.

Based on this belief, when I entered marriage, I subconsciously unbuckled my seatbelt, got out of the driver’s seat in my relationship with God, and moved to the back. I looked to the front seat where my new husband, Trevor, sat and waited for him to lead us in daily time in God’s Word and prayer. . . .

Somehow, my complementarian ideals had led me to live as if I was in pre-Reformation days when only an elite few had access to God’s Word. I looked to my husband to lead me to God, rather than enjoying the direct access Christ purchased for me. But 1 Timothy 2:5 is clear. There is only one mediator between God and humanity, and it is not my husband. It is Jesus.

What Are Your Expectations of Having a Spiritual Leader?

What are your expectations of your husband being your “spiritual leader”? When you’re together, do you:

  • Leave all the praying up to him, or do you pray too?
  • Invite him to read and pray with you, or do you believe he is the only one who can initiate that?
  • Stay home with him because he doesn’t want to go to church, or are you faithfully frequenting its doors whether he comes with you or not (Heb. 10:19–25)?

Are you afraid:

  • To confront your husband in love about unrepentant sin in his life (Heb. 3:12–15)?
  • That you can’t pursue intimacy with God too fervently, because you might intimidate your husband and keep him from stepping up?

If you have children, do you teach them God’s Word, even if your husband doesn’t (Deut. 6:5–8)?

Dear Christian wife, I hope you aren’t tempted to “quit” your relationship with God in order to be a good, “submissive” wife. These two things are not mutually exclusive!

Yes, God has given your husband the role of “head” in your relationship. But rather than this limiting you, this should propel and empower you. Think about it. Do truly great leaders do all the work themselves, or do they empower those under their care to thrive, initiate, and lead? . . .