I’m Falling in Love with an Atheist

Dear “I’m falling in love with an atheist,” Please don’t read this letter with a harsh, condemning tone, but with an urgent, pleading one. I’m deeply concerned for you, and I want you to wake up. Let’s start by recalling who a Christian is.

A Christian:

  • is now one with Christ.
  • has been rescued by Jesus out of the darkness of sin and has been brought into His marvelous light—transformed from the inside out.
  • has the spirit of Christ living inside of them.
  • is someone whose entire identity has been refashioned around Christ. Christ is their life; He’s the reason they are now accepted and beloved by God the Father.

An atheist, on the other hand:

  • denies that God even exists
  • hates God, just as you and I did until God graciously opened our eyes to our need to be forgiven and cleansed of our sin, to be reconciled with our Creator, and to be given an “alien” righteousness so we could live with a holy God forever.

An atheist and a Christian are not compatible. How do I know this?

Years ago, the apostle Paul wrote to the Christians in Corinth, urging them not to enter into any kind of a close partnership with an unbeliever. After telling them not to team up with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), Paul peppered them with the following questions. Read them carefully:

  • How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?
  • How can light live with darkness? 
  • What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil?
  • How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 
  • And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said:

“I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor. 6:14–18).

One way we can apply this to our lives today is not to date or marry someone who is not wholeheartedly pursuing and delighting in God. King Solomon made this mistake, and we’re told in 1 Kings 11:4 that,

“His wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the LORD his God.”

You will have to choose between God and this man; You can’t have both. James warns,

“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4).

Let me be clear about this, though. If you choose God over this man, God will not love you any more than He already does. It won’t earn you extra points with God. If you truly trust in Christ Jesus as both your Savior and your Lord, you are already His 100% dearly loved child.

Does that mean that you have the freedom to date this man? No way. Besides, why would you want to, when Christ has revealed Himself to you as the greatest treasure there is—both in this life and for the life to come?

I know you feel strong passion toward this man, but I encourage you to:

  1. Explore whether you truly have been born again, and whether Jesus is both your Savior and your Lord (He can’t be one without being the other).
  2. Tell an older, godly woman about your struggle. Be completely honest with her, and ask her to help hold you accountable.
  3. Break off your relationship with this guy. Remove his number from your phone, do whatever it takes to distance yourself from him.
  4. Pursue Jesus through His Word. Get to know Him. Learn to enjoy Him the way He delights in you.

Praying for you,


I’m Falling in Love with an Atheist was originally posted on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com. 

Paula (Hendricks) Marsteller is a compassionate Christian communicator.

1 thought on “I’m Falling in Love with an Atheist”

  1. I really liked your post, and I agree. 🙂 however, I don’t think you should run from him. You could use this as an opportunity to witness to him. Be a light among the darkness. If dancing stirs up wrong desires in you, then maybe you could do something else together. Maybe invite him to youth group. 🙂 “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” Colossians 4:5

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